Yes, I’m pro-abstinence in sex education. No debate about where I stand on that. Recent news events (possible pacts by students to become teen moms, Tyra Banks and her study on teen sexuality, etc.) have increased the abstinence debate in our culture. Here’s the current development: the Twilight books and new movie have created quite a stir, especially among teen girls. What’s the big deal? The books well written teen angst stories that have a romantic edge to them, thereby creating almost a cult following. A key plot angle is that the main characters do not consummate their relationship sexually, which some have praised as being “pro-abstinence.” This supposedly makes the books/movie acceptable entertainment fair for teens, even though the vampire angle is a little troubling in itself.
In Twilight, Edward (the “teen” vampire/heart throb) sets boundaries for the physical relationship between him and Bella (his teen love interest who is willing to give up almost anything for him). Still, there’s a fair amount of sexual tension, attraction, and romance between the two, which is one of the reasons the story is popular with teen girls. Why does he set the boundaries? He loves Bella and doesn’t want to hurt her (trying not to spoil the story too much, for those who haven’t read/seen it yet). Edward also adheres to “old fashioned” values which further guide his decision to remain chaste in his relationship with Bella. That’s very chivalrous, we’re led to think. Should we, should I, support this kind of message and encourage students to take in this story?
What I think is missing from the discussion on this topic — I know, you’re shocked — is the spiritual angle. After all, God in His Word tells His people to abstain from sexual activity (which includes all sorts of activity, not just intercourse) for a specific reason. The main reason is that sexual intimacy was created by God for the benefit of His people within the confines of marriage. That’s the setting that gives sexuality the security, passion, and purpose He intended when he designed it. Many people search for security or passion or purpose apart from a relationship with God. They end up with a blemished version of sexuality. Unfortunately, that’s the version that Twilight ends up promoting. Sure, abstinence is a part of the story, but not out of honor and respect for God and His creation. The abstinence we get from Twilight is a self-centered version, born out of a pragmatic bottom line that if Edward and Bella become intimate their relationship would be changed forever–for the worse. While that is certainly a truth for teens in the real world — sexual activity outside of a committed marriage changes a relationship for the worse — I’m not sure the Twilight story and it’s vampire-laced setting makes an effective parallel to that truth.
So, back to the question. Do I support abstinence, no matter what the reason? No, I do not. I’m for abstinence when it’s based on God’s principles, not the schemes of men (or vampires).
